On Being a Parent - what I learned from my mom

Before Claire was born I understood that being a first time mom I had no idea how my life was about to change. I had been around babies and toddlers. I wasn't one of those women who freaked out registering at Babies R Us. However, given my little knowledge of babies helped me understand how little I knew and how I wouldn't know what it was like until it happened.

Growing up, my mom always referred to "the handbook." This was her excuse for making us do things that we thought were mean. For example, "Sorry kids, I have to make you eat your vegetables, it's in the handbook," or "I can't just let you run around town, I have to know where you are, it's in the handbook." Like any good kid I took this as law, got used to it and even laughed and teased her about it (on occasion, even used it against her). When I was pregnant though I asked my mom to produce this handbook for me as reference thinking it would take a while, but she would write all this stuff down for me that I was supposed to do or supposed to know. Instead she just looked at me and I said I already have one, that it is my bible. You have to watch her, my mom is tricky.

And being tricky, my mom also shared this piece of wisdom with me, "You will always know more than she does." Which in her tricky way, she told me that for my entire childhood she had just been going with her gut and winging it, showing no fear and that I could do the same. She also warned me that at 16, Claire would know more than I did, but that it would only last until she was about 21 and is completely normal. She still reminds me when I am going through a tough spot with Claire that, I know more than she does and that Brent and I will know what is best for her. I so appreciate that my mom never tries to tell us how to be parents or how to live our lives. She will given advice when asked, but even then in a way that says she trusts us completely. Of course she will add that she trust me because she raised me to be just like her.