Back to My Knees

Back on Wednesday I listed the advantages and disadvantages of getting a pump. If you look back you can see that I listed as the #1 disadvantage that I thought it freaked Brent out. Well, I am right.

<-a typical pump & infusion site

Last night Brent finally opened up about it all. I am glad he was finally painfully honest, but it also has made me indecisive again. He brought up several of the things I was questioning myself. He questions: 1) Do I truly need it? If I truly need it, why are they letting me make the decision? 2) If I can't stay committed to insulin shots long term, will I be able to stay committed to the pump? 3) If I think I am ready to make the kind of life style changes that would come with a pump, why can't I make those now with the multiple daily injections? Good points, I agree.

For those of you who don't know Brent, or even if you do, please don't think he is being a jerk. Our conversation wasn't like that. He says he will support whatever decision I make, but he is a huge consideration. As my husband I need him to be the biggest support, but I also need him to be sincere about it. I worry that if I go ahead with it will his support be forced.

Lord, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, tell me what to do!